The following is an open letter to the MRM from Chris Key. Chris was recently disavowed by A Voice for Men.com in a blog post written by Paul Elam (The Happy Misogynist). I thought that what Paul was doing was unfair, counter productive, and frankly anathema to what the Men's Movement is about.
Discarding an MRA because his views were too extreme or his delivery too unpolished is not what MRA's should be doing. Male disposability is what we are supposed to be working against rather than promoting to achieve our own ends.
Over the last 14 hours I have done a lot of soul
searching. I've come to the conclusion that it's in the best interest of
both parties if I leave the MRM. I don't want it to be a hostile
departure because nothing can be gained from an event that ends on a
negative note. I leave with no ill feelings towards you or anyone else.
I go, I would like to explain my stance on homosexuality, why I act
differently to the people on AVfM, why I hurled so much vitriol at Suz
-- and why I owe her an apology -- and why I need to leave the MRM,
permanently, so that I can heal the health problems that trouble me
I want to apologise to Suz, but for me to do that, I
need to explain my stance on homosexuality. It's crucial because it will
help you understand what was going through my mind when I responded to
My Stance Against Homosexuality
The militant stance I
hold against homosexuality began in 2011. I came across credible
exposes on some of the ideologies that have been promoted by many
mainstream homosexual rights group and, conduct that was performed in
the public domain by a large number of homosexuals. I'm not talking
about understandable ideologies such as "equal rights for homosexuals".
I'm talking about large, well funded homosexual groups advocating that
it's okay for homosexuals to have sex with minors.
such as Gay Lesbian Adolescent Social Services (GLASS) were placed in
charge of looking after children, but went on to use their position to
have sex with vulnerable minors: the U.N. was caught endorsing some of
the pro-paedophile homosexuals groups after it became aware of their
behaviour during the 1990s.
Up until that point I didn't know
anything about these things, so I was shocked to learn that a
considerably large segement of the homosexual movement were not only
involved in carrying out such acts, but were supported by people who are
meant to be looking out for the best interests of children. Not only
was I shocked, but I was absolutely furious. I've always believed that
children are to be nurtured. There's no way I can support people who are
going out of their way to harm children.
If all of this wasn't
enough reason for me to believe the homosexual rights movement was a
rampant paedophile machine that does not care about children's rights,
then the way the American media and politicians treated the murders of
Matthew Shepard and Jesse Dirkhising confirmed that there was a sinister
agenda at play and, that the agenda needed to be opposed. For those who
do not know, Jesse Dirkhising was a 13-year-old boy who was brutally
raped and murdered by two homosexual men. His death came about a year
after Matthew Shepard was killed. When Shepard was killed it was assumed
that the motivation behind the crime was homophobia. The truth, which
was stated by the prosecutor who tried Shepard's murderers, and,
confirmed by details that were released by the police, is that Shepard
was killed in a drug deal that went sour. This didn't stop homosexual
rights groups from saying the motive was homophobia. Till this very day,
politicians and mainstream media continue to overlook the evidence and
pretend it was about homophobia. When a politician does admit that it
was a drug deal that went sour then they are vilified extremely by the
It really upsets that all of this injustice has
been allowed to take place. Maybe I've interpreted it the wrong way,
but it appears to me as if those who are in power (politicians,
mainstream media) believe that the rights of homosexual paedophiles are
more important than children's right to not be abused and, that
appeasing the homosexual community is more important than fair,
In response, I believed that the homosexual
rights movement is the most dangerous threat to society, as they played a
key role in spreading anti-straight propaganda to strum up hysteria for
homosexual rights and, they were complicit in allowing child abuse to
occur. It didn't seem to worry the people from those groups that their
actions were unjust and caused immense suffering for Jesse Dirkhising's
Based on that, I came to the conclusion that all
homosexuals are a threat to society, because, I didn't see very many
good, law-abiding homosexuals opposing those who are guilty of this
injustice. I know that's extreme, but that's how I think. Since the
homosexual community could not be counted on to stop the injustice, I
formed the opinion that the only way to solve the problem is to oppoose
the entire homosexual community. I don't want to see children hurt. I
want those who are a threat to children to be disarmed by the government
as soon as possible. The only way I could see that happening is if
enough people stand up and oppose all homosexual rights. I know that's
extreme, but I find it hard to sympathise with people who take rights
away from children.
My anger has intensified since I learned that
Canadian schools are teaching young children that living in a household
that consists of the nuclear family unit is "toxic". I automatically
assumed all MRAs would be disgusted by this because one of the main
tenets of the MRM is that children need a mother and a father. I saw it
as another attack on father's rights and, assumed there might be a link
between the homosexual movement and feminism; a considerable amount of
second-wave feminists were homosexual women.
If that makes me
narrow-minded, hysterical and hateful, then so be it, but it's the only
stance that sat well with me; I couldn't think of a solution that would
be as effective at protecting children.
Do you now understand why I distrust homosexuals and am absolutely livid with them?
not saying all homosexuals are intent on harming children. Nor am I
saying it's justifiable to hate all homosexuals for the actions of its
leaders. What I'm saying is the fact that the people in charge of
representing homosexual rights have been found guilty of harming
children makes me sick in the stomach, and, it angers me that so few
homosexuals oppose them.
Usage of Terms Like "Fags and Dykes"
been referring to homosexuals as "fags" and "dykes" because I believe
the terms "gay" and "lesbian" have been hijacked by the homosexual
movement. I know that sounds strange, but hear me out. A few years ago I
recall reading an article, posted on my forum by one of its members,
that the people of Lesbos were angry about homosexual women referring to
them as lesbians. I thought that their feelings ought to given just as
much consideration as those of homosexuals. If I were to say that the
people of Lesbos should just get over it then I would be supporting the
same system that tells us that white men cannot be victimised because
they're female and aren't ethnic. As an MRA, I cannot support any system
that has harmed men.
The Honourable Bob Katter left a mark on me
when he said in Canberra, during a meeting about protecting the
institution of marriage, that "gay" was a beautiful word that conjured
up images of happiness and love. He went on to say that he used it in a
school project when he was a kid, then said that the homosexual
community have no right to change the meaning of that word. His speech
reminded me of the lawsuit that the people of Lesbos filed to stop
homosexual women from being called 'lesbians'. I have a lot of respect
for Bob Katter as a he's a conservative manly man who isn't afraid to
speak up to feminists and other leftist groups. He is bullied regularly
by leftists, homosexuals and city folk, which really upsets me. I
thought he had a point, so I decided that from that point onwards I
would no longer refer to homosexuals as "gays and lesbians". I was also
very, very angry with the entire homosexual community for the reasons
stated above, so I decided it was fair to refer to them as "fags and
dykes". I know that two wrongs do not usually make a right, but I felt
that his was a situation where it what's needed. I must admit that I
still feel that way because I cannot think of an alternative solution.
that you know why I am so angry with homosexuals, I can move on to
explaining why I owe Suz an apology for the manner I spoke to her.
a comment left on AVfM, I stumbled upon an article on Suz's site. It
was a letter she addressed to a homosexual. In the comments section of
her letter I saw a couple of women calling him a "loser". I was silly
enough to assume that they used that term because they disliked
homosexuals as much as I do. As a result, I wrote a very disparaging
post about homosexuals, mentioning the Jesse Dirkhising and Mathew
Shepard cases, the high HIV and Hepatitis A rates among homosexuals,
and, the low life expectancy of homosexuals. Some of the things I said
about homosexuals were inhumane and should not have been said about
anyone. After that I wrote a second post, citing the sources of my
Suz deleted both posts, saying she does not condone bigotry.
could understand Suz removing the first post but I couldn't understand
the link between the second post and her charge of bigotry. I assumed
she was saying it's wrong to cite credible sources that show not
everything homosexuals do is healthy and, that there might be a link
between the homosexual lifestyle and poor health (I've heard a lot of
liberals use this to argue that people should pretend that homosexuals
are not more likely to contract HIV, Hepatitis A, or have an average
lifespan that is about 20 years shorter than that for straight people).
I've come across a lot of credible evidence that shows there's a
conspiracy to support homosexuals who abuse children. Due to this, I
automatically assumed that if a person blindly rejects it then they're
in on the conspiracy and are trying to promote it. That's why I referred
to Suz as a 'fag enabler' and spoke so harshly towards her.
would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to Suz. She
did not deserve to be spoken to like that. I was wrong and I'm ashamed
of myself for letting my emotion get the better of me. I don't expect
Suz to forgive me, but I hope this confession will allow her to
understand where I was coming from and why I responded like I did; more
importantly, it'll show her that I take full responsibility for my
Why I Must Depart the MRM
My biggest problem is
I don't really understand people all that well. When I don't understand
something I compensate by jumping to assumptions. It's a bad habit that
I've gotten myself into over the years, and it, it gets me into trouble
every now and then. It's why I believe I must depart the MRM. In
today's politically correct landscape it's important to understand the
basics of social interaction. Since my people skills are so poor, I'm a
massive disadvantage when it comes to getting my points across. The last
thing the MRM needs is some one who has this problem.
don't know me, but I've been involved in the MRM for about a decade.
There used to be a secret board for MRAs, called Our Board. It was run
by Zed/Zenpriest, who is one of the admins at The Spearhead. Only those
who were invited were allowed to post on it. I was invited there by
Darren Blacksmith in 2003/2004. I helped design the MGTOW logo, which
was created by Rangar. He created the movement as well as the logo, but I
edited out the pixelation and made an emoticon for it; if I recall
correctly, he saved it as a low quality JPEG file, so I edited it and
converted it to PNG and GIF.
I started my site in late 2004. I've
spent an average of 3 or so hours on my site each day over that period.
It's been a huge part of my life. Living without it will be difficult,
but it's for the best. It's been a rock for me as it's allowed to
develop friendships with people I now consider family. I have trouble
socialising, so it has helped me out. I'm extremely grateful to the guys
on my forum who've been loyal to me over the years. I'll forever be
grateful to the wonderful people who've been loyal to my forum: people
like outcoors, DCM, Malthus, bobx23456, ChristinaAF, Serpent Slayer,
Gears, Zuberi, Yeuu and Feminist Scum. There have been times when I felt
like shutting the site down due to the amount of new members drying up
about 2 years ago, but I've carried on with it because I don't want to
let down my mates. I might keep the forum going as a private forum for
all of the regular posters over the next few months, but I do not know
if I'll be posting too much. At some stage between now and October next
year -- the date when my webplan expires -- I'll either shut it down or
give it to one of the members.
I'm not cut out to be a leader.
It's why my forum has not grown larger and why I don't the tough calls
that need to be made. There were times when I tried to be strict and
keep the discussion very moderate and polite -- as is evidenced by Robin
Steele applauding me on her blog in 2007 -- but I couldn't keep it up
because the pressure it created was just too much. I have difficulty
saying no, so I more or less let the board be as uncensored as possible.
I allowed people to say things that I did not agree with. Over time I
just ignored it because I've grown to care more about my mates than I do
about pleasing third-party viewers. It's for this reason the board has
to be shut off to the outside world and shut down.
My Health Condition
Keyster already knows -- he was a regular poster on my board for a few
years -- I live with a debilitating illness that makes it impossible to
work and difficult to socialise. I'm not asking for sympathy, just want
to clarify what it's like to spend a day in my shoes. That way you will
be better equipped to understand how and why I think the way I do, and,
how it affects me on a day-to-day basis. I don't have many friends
because socialising regularly makes my condition worse. As a result, the
MRM and my website have been the one place I've been able to turn to
for help, which isn't always in the best interest of the movement. It
has helped me to some extent, but it has become harmful to me over the
last couple of years. My condition is worsening, and the only way I can
deal with it is by permanently removing myself from the MRM. I don't
want to go -- it breaks my heart to leave something that I've been a
part of for almost a decade -- but it's what I need to do if I am going
to heal. The stress of being involved in the MRM is too much for my OCD
(I have a very severe case of OCD, and, it does not respond very well to
Contary to what Keyster said, I've never celebrated 6th of
December as "Saint Marc's Day". The only member on my board who has
supported it is bobx23456. I've told him on many times that I do not
condone what Marc Lepine did on the 6th of December 1989. I've always
said he had no right to kill innocent civilian women.
The MRM has
helped me learn a lot about life, but it also gets in the way of my
illness. I can now use that knowledge to help me live with my condition.
I'll remove the posts on my blog (http://news.mens-rights.net) about Suz, as well as anything else that uses the terms "fags" and "dykes".
Addressed to Paul Elam
I may not agree with everything you say and do, but I respect you
because you've raised a lot of awareness for men's rights and are a very
Believe it or not, you have had an influence on my
life. There was a time when you told me, on my forum in 2009, that I
should not censor my members. I followed your advice. The board was
heavily moderated, in 2007, by myself and a woman called elfprincess. I
copped a lot of criticism during that period -- some of it justified as
it turned out she was sort of a feminist -- so when you suggested I do
not censor free speech, I listened. I was heading in that direction
anyway, but your suggestion convinced me to let free speech reign
supreme. I didn't want a repeat of what happened in 2007.
I do not recall ever saying to you that I hate women. If I did say that
then it would have been to make you feel that I wasn't judging you --
you know, with you using the name TheHappyMisogynist and having a
website by that name. But alas, I do not recall saying it, so I'll deny
it until the day I die.
It's impossible for me to hate women when
my best friend (my mum) is a woman. My mother and I are very close --
we're closer than she is to her daughters -- we spend everyday with one
another and help each other out. My mother and I have the same
debilitating illness, so we understand one another very well. I took
offence to you referring to me as a "son of a bitch", because, you were
effectively calling my mother a bitch.
I'd appreciate it if you
removed the article you made about me. It might be better to replace it
with this one, or nothing at all. It's better for the MRM if everyone in
it is cohesive and on the same page. Taking down your article and
replacing it with this one will show the world that even when things
don't work out between the MRM and one of its members, the MRM can still
gell together and find a solution that is in everyone's best interest.
I'll remove the article I wrote about you if you remove the one you
wrote about me.
I do not want to be a burden to the movement. It
was never my intention to bring negative attention to the movement.
However, since I have inadvertently done this, the only decent thing
left to do is for me to leave the movement so that experts, such as
yourself, can continue fighting for the rights of men, women and
I do not hold any ill feelings towards you. I was
critical of you yesterday and the day before, but only because I was
angry and upset. I leave in peace and hope you live a long and
I hope you accept my offer for peace.
I wish Chris the best. While I think his departure is unwarranted I hope he uses this time to find peace and meaning in his life in other areas. That, after all, is what MGTOW is all about.